


Losing You

by elysium_is_real



Category: Game Grumps, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Alone time ;), Angst, F/M, Fluff, Game Grumps - Freeform, Grumps, Hiding Feelings, Kisses, Love, No Smut, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 17:45:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11213064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysium_is_real/pseuds/elysium_is_real
Summary: The Grumps have never been anything but kind to you. But Danny sticks out like an oddly shaped thumb to you and it's not surprising when you fall for him. But there's no way he would ever like you back, so you do everything to keep from losing your place in his heart.Even if that means you lose him forever.





	Losing You

**Author's Note:**

> wowie this was created in a spur of the moment Redbull induced coma. Also made because Leigh Daniel Avidan is actually perf. I recommend listening to NSP's cover album, "Under The Covers" while reading this for the desired effect. have fun yo

You’d been friends with all of the Grumps for years and all of them were like family. All of them were kind to you when no one else was. They loved you and you loved them.

One of them in particular: Danny.

It was hard enough not to fall for him in the first place with his happy little giggle and that stupid grin he always paired with the crinkle in his big doe eyes. And then his voice, whether he was singing or just talking, was magical enough. He was funny and smart and wise and kind, so kind. He had made mistakes, but those were what made Danny himself.

And maybe it was just the way he acted around you that made you fall for him. The pet names and how sometimes his arm would find its way around your shoulder or how his lips would press a chaste kiss to your forehead or the top of your head. It made you think and then you wondered if _you_ liked him and then you did and then there was no way he liked you back and then the extreme repression of feelings. Because that’s the way the cookie made entirely of feelings crumbles.

No one else knew but Suzy, but sometimes you regretted telling her. Between her always trying to tell you to make a move and scheduling Steam Train for just you and Danny, it was getting a bit too much too handle. And she had done both of those things yesterday.

**///---\\\\\**

The alarm went off on your phone and you slammed it off, rolling over to clear your mind for a moment before you began the day. You and Danny were supposed to be recording at the grump space today. Alone. Almost all day. Running a hand through at the prospect, you threw your legs over the side of the bed.

Coffee seemed like a good enough breakfast for a nervous stomach and while you waited for it to brew, you pulled up one of Danny’s old songs, Hands On The Water to play in the background. When it was done, you poured a generous helping into a travel cup and then went to get dressed. Nothing too fancy, just black leggings and an oversized flannel and the silver wing necklace Danny had given you a few years back for your birthday. The song had moved onto NSP’s cover of Wish You Were Here by then, your cue to get moving. Sleep triumphed all, so taking more than ten in the morning wasn’t really an option.

You tied your Converse in a messy jumble, grabbed your phone and keys, and left in a hurry. The last thing you wanted was to make a bad impression on Dan and make him think you couldn’t be on time. You started the car after plugging your phone into the aux cable and letting the song continue from where it left off.

The drive there wasn’t very far, but the anticipation and slight anxiety of what was ahead made it seem even shorter. You made sure to unplug your phone just in case Dan was outside. He was.

“(Y/n)!” he yelled with a grin when he saw your car. You smiled back and got out to be enveloped in a hug. “How are you? It’s been a while! I was starting to think you were avoiding me,” he joked, his hand still lingering on your shoulder. You didn’t respond immediately because truth be told, you had been avoiding him.

“I’m good, Danny. You? I’ve missed you,” you said. He was still just as beautiful as you remembered. “Better now that I’ve got someone ‘round the grump space with me. It’s creepy when you’re alone in there.” You followed him inside, forgetting your coffee in the car.

“We got a new couch since you were here last so you don’t have to be so squished next to me and bean bags we can sit on instead if you want. And later we can order food or go out? It’s up to you,” he said quickly, taking your hand in his and leading you around. They’d even painted the walls while you were away. He said something else, but you weren’t listening. You stopped paying attention until you felt his hand graze your neck gently and you jumped.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Just… this is the one I got you, isn’t it?” he asked, eyes studying it like he actually didn’t remember. “Yeah, it is,” you said. Looking down at it, you scoffed out a laugh. “What?” You glanced up at him through your lashes and said, “It looks so much smaller in your hands and that just made me laugh for some reason.” He gave a lopsided smile and dropped the necklace back against your chest.

“Know any good games on Steam right now?”

**///---\\\\\**

You both agreed on a game that looked interesting called RiME and were a few episodes in. The playful banter between the two of you made you relax a bit more and the way you talked was as easy as it ever had been, even if you felt your heart crack every time he glanced your way.

“God, the music in this game is really good,” Dan commented after the laughter died down from a joke you had made. “No joke. Who’s the composer?” you shot back. “You are askin’ the wrong person, baby girl.” You blushed at his given nick name for you and he noticed. “Hey, (Y/n), why are you blushing? Do you like it when I call you baby girl?” he said, nudging your shoulder. You pushed him back and he giggled.

“Are you just kinky or do you liiiiiiike me?” he said playfully. “Cram it, Avidan, or I’ll tell them about the time you had a nightmare and called me in the middle of the night to come over because Barry wasn’t home,” you threatened. He snickered at the memory and you sighed at the successful diversion of another story.

The diversion lasted until the end of the episode. Danny got up to grab another blanket and you had gone to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. When you stood up, Dan was leaning against the counter looking at you with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Nice diversion, baby girl,” he said with a smirk plastered on his face. You ignored him and walked back into main area, plopping down on one of the couches. “Come on, you can tell little old me if you like me,” he said, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. You pushed his hand away and he took a step back. “You… you do, don’t you?” he said quietly. You grabbed the necklace you were wearing and stood up. “I have to go,” you whispered quietly.

His mouth opened ever so slightly and you pushed past him towards your shoes in the recording room. “What are doing?” he said, walking behind you. “I have to go,” you repeated louder this time. You stooped to grab your shoes and then turned around to see Dan blocking the doorway. “(Y/n), where are you going? You can’t just leave me hanging like this, please. Let’s talk for a while, something,” he said, his voice more pleading than it had been.

You shook your head and pushed past him again. He called out your name as you grabbed your car keys and walked out the front door. It had begun raining when you were recording. You heard Danny’s bare feet behind you and you opened the door to your car. “(Y/n), stop! Please, we can talk, I’m sorry, (Y/n), please!” he pleaded, reaching out and grabbing your wrist.

“Let go of my wrist, Dan,” you said as strongly as you could, but it still came out weakly. “(Y/n), come back inside.” You pulled your hand away sharply and shut the door, trying as hard as you could to ignore the tall figure pounding on your window and shouting your name.

You watched him stand there in the rain as you pulled out of the parking lot and back home.

**///---\\\\\**

About a week had passed and you hadn’t left the house yet. The only person you’d texted was Suzy and that to tell her you’d be working from home and then you’d turned off your phone because of the constant stream of calls and texts from Danny and Arin and even Kevin and Barry and Ross and Holly trying to convince you to come back.

But if you were being honest with yourself, you wouldn’t be able to face Danny for a while. He knew and something told you he didn’t feel the same. It hurt to even think about it. The look on his face when he connected the dots… it wasn’t worth hurting yourself when you could avoid them.

You were lying on the couch in a tangle of blankets when you heard someone knocking on the door. “Who is it?” you called out. “I brought pizza,” said a familiar voice from the other side of the door and your heart dropped when you heard it.

Dan.

“Not hungry,” you said. Your stomach growled and you wondered how long it had been since you’d eaten last. “(Y/n), please, let me in. Tell me what I did wrong, please, let me make this right. I’ll do anything. Don’t make me break down the door,” he said, a small thump following the end of his sentence. You knew he was leaning his head on the door.

After a few minutes of silence, you heard him jiggling with the door handle and then a rattle of keys. “Shit,” you muttered. You had forgotten you’d given all of them a key. You went to move to your bedroom, but you tripped over all the blankets right as Dan opened the door.

He rushed to you and you tried to push him away, but this time he didn’t let you. “Damnit, (Y/n), why haven’t been taking care of yourself?” he asked quietly. You opened to talk, but he got to it first, “You, stop talking. It was a rhetorical question.” He picked you up and you stopped fighting.

He lead you to your bedroom and put you gently on the bed, sitting on the edge. You stayed in tense silence for a long while before Dan spoke up. “Why am I here, (Y/n)…” At those words, you felt one tear slip down your face. “Why am I here,” he repeated quietly.

“You’re here to tell me I’m being childish by avoiding my problems and avoiding you. And I am. Because I can’t right now and I don’t think I’ll be able to for a while, Danny.” It took everything to say his name and not break.  “Why?” he asked, turning around to look at you.

“Because every time I look at you, it’s a reminder of how much I love you and how much you will never love me. Because every time I see you, I feel my heart breaking and every time you look at me with those big eyes that made me fall in the first place and every time you say my name, my mind wonders what you sound like saying my name so early in the morning, the birds have yet to wake. Because every time I see Arin and Suzy or Ross and Holly, my mind jumps to what it would be like with you. Because I love you more than I have ever loved in my life and because you don’t love me. Because you are my world, my sun and stars, my night and day. You are the moon of my life, that’s all I know. That’s all I need to know. And if this is a dream, I will kill the man who tries to wake me,” you said slowly without a single pause.

“Fuck all that shit. Fuck it,” he said with a dead pan face. “What?” you replied.

“You honestly think I don’t adore you? That I don’t wish every night that you were there with me in my arms? And you just fucking confessed your love to me using a damn Game of Thrones quote. Can I kiss you?” he said, moving closer to you. “What?” you repeated. He rolled his eyes and then he was kissing you gently.

His lips moved against yours in a way that you had only dreamed about. The stubble on his chin scraped your skin in the most delicious way and you were suddenly hyper aware of everything about you. One of his hands cupped your cheek, his thumb wiping away the stray tear. “I love you, (Y/n),” he mumbled against your lips before pulling back.

Your eyes were still closed as he pulled you down into his embrace. “Don’t ever think I don’t worship the ground you walk on, sweetheart. I love you, so much. Until the rivers run dry, until the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, and the mountains blow like wind in the trees. I love you.”

You fell asleep in the embrace of the love of your life.


End file.
